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Monday, February 20, 2006 

Sunday Fires

"hehehehahahahahahaha so when do we get to begin?"
"Have patience for once in your life."
"You're no fun, big sis. If he was here we would have already started." His pupils shrunk, the whites of his eyes growing. He began to laugh wildly, but as frightening as it sounded, he was holding himself back.
She coldly looked over to the figdeting, pale white man standing next to her, clad in the most up to date elliptical technology. Tubes weaved in and out of his metallic body, constantly pumping the energy necessary to run the suit's abilities. He was arched forward, with his left foot tapping the dirt with it's toe.
"Vertigo, you should know the difference between he and I. Never associate me with that monster." She said it flatly with a tone that demanded silence fill the air about them.
"Ho? Yet you work for the same man and are associated with the same atrocities..." he began to laugh a little at this point, but he sharply turned his head to face her with a stone faced frown. "Don't kid yourself. Do you actually think you're independent from..." Noise could be heard from the town, down below the hill from which they were standing on.
"I See him! Hahahahaha! He's mine big sis, you'll be proud of how deadly i've gotten with my new toy." Vertigo passionately rode his tongue down his left arm and whispered something affectionately to it before dashing down the hill at an inhuman speed.
Dyne watched a cloud of wind kick up, forcing her hair everywhich way due to Vertigo's speed. Calmly, she pushed the stray strands of hair behind her ear, looked indifferently upon the landscape and turned her back to the massacre that was about to begin. "This is the price for peace. Soon there won't be a need for demons like you, Vertigo." Dyne gracefully began to walk into the darkness of the forest, stopped to look back, and after a sigh let the enveloping blackness consume her.


Ripping through the town like lightening, Vertigo happily danced amongst the flames which exuded from his hands and feet at will. The elliptical armor merely enhanced a users pre existing abilities, so much of the speed and acrobatics were a demonstration of his abilities as a Fire Dancer.
Vertigo howled with madness as he quickly jumped over obstacles and with the agility of a gymnast, quickly vaulted off of anything he could find, burning it with his touch. The streets were in chaos as everything burned around him. Families attempted to escape the violence, but quickly found themselves either ignited in their attempt to flee or watched as a roof that once provided shelter quickly become their death.

"hohohohehehehahaha! Screams! I love it! Louder! Louder! LOUDER!" A trail of fire blazed beneath his feat as he stopped to bask in the glory of his masterpiece. "What ungrateful fools! None of you understand." He cocked his head to the left and saw a child crying in the corner, begging for his mother's touch and safety. With a smile stretched across his face and chin up, Vertigo casually approached the child and with each step, his eyes grew wider. "I know you're here! Why don't you come out and play already? Or do I need to find something to keep myself occupied until you finally muster up enough courage?" Vertigo stopped in front of the child, lavishing in the terror that filled the air. He grasped the childs arm and lifted him up off the ground and the smell of burning flesh dominated the area. Slowly and meticulously, Vertigo began to singe the child's arm with his touch and watched as the boy struggled and screamed in pain.

"If you don't want to die, I humbly suggest putting the kid down. Now." Vertigo looked back over his shoulder in amusement. "So you've come." He dropped the child and turned around to face the stranger. "Ahh! How cocky for such a young brat. To think that your father was once one of the highest and most decorated amongst our ranks." Vertigo made an insincere bow to the dark stranger and without standing back up raised his head, "such wasted talent."

"Hah. Don't speak as if you knew him," said the youth. Vertigo's flames began to brew along his suit as he began to laugh, "I could say the same to you, naive boy!"
"Enough talk, shut your mouth and let's get this done with."

With a great amount of passion, Vertigo sped towards the young man wearing nothing but a black mantle. With a heavy fist he made the first move, but wasn't fast enough. Somehow the youth evaded his strike. With deep resentment and anger, Vertigo turned to lay a barrage of blows upon the face of his enemy, but each was easily evaded.

"Too slow."

After receiving the carefully timed strike to his chest, Vertigo was thrown through three of his master pieces, the last one collapsing on him. After a few moments of silence, a pillar of fire erupted from underneath the rubble, Vertigo shrouded in blood lust.

"Looks like it was all true. You live up to your father's legacy, Saudade, but I'm going to have to finish this game we're playing." Ripping open a panel in his left arm, the fire dancer grabbed the vial resting within the suit. He drank the contents and immediately began to tremble with vitality. With speed incapable of being seen by the naked eye, Vertigo quickly encircled the youth within a towering circle of flame. With swift kicks and thrusts of his arms, hooked flames danced towards Saudade, leaving black ash in their wake. "The world is going to be better off without you and your ilk." Without saying a word, the oncoming flames were distinguished and Vertigo was shocked to find his arms and legs thrown in different directions, separated from the rest of his body. He fell to the ground, no longer dancing, and instead crying in pain.

"You...You son of a bitch." The limbless mess of a man began to cough up pools of blood.
"You have a lot to say for a dead man."
"It won't matter. For every one you kill, ten will follow and hunt you down till the end of time. We'll erase everything you love until you..." Before he could finish the sentence, Saudade crushed his throat with his bare hands, "I am not as merciful as my father. You've already taken everything I love which is why I'll repay the generosity ten fold." After watching Vertigo's vain struggle for survival, Saudade of Sunday took in the tragedy of what had occured about him and to those who housed him. Tears rolled down his blank face as he began to walk away from the burning town, thinking of the love he lost so many years ago.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Just practicing some dialogue/fight scene stuff. None of it is edited, so it is crappy, but hopefully the more I do it the better i'll get and maybe I'll finally be able to settle on a set of characters/plot for the book some class next semester requires me to write.

Meh, I suck at writing fantasy lol ;_;

I realize it was just dialogue, but it wasn't bad. I mean sure, a few spelling and structure errors here and there, but nothing beyond fixing.

I think editing your own work though is an important step in evolving as a writer, everytime I look through something I've written and go, "that's lame, why the fuck did I put it like that?" I change it, and feel as if I've made the story better overall, and in turn I tend not to make similar mistakes again.

For this, I would have liked to see what the main protagonist looked like. Right after you introduce him, I would have been like, "okay he looks like this and he's standing like this and he's smirking or he's serious...blah, blah blah. You get the picture, and then continue as you did.

Nice though, good luck with that book next semester. I'm almost done with that short story I told you about a while back, I'll get a blog on here and post it then.

^^^^^^^^
Clark

Clark master of fantasy teaching thy wisdom he knows of such matters to the learned one.

But anyways, i liked it, yes it was short because you are just experimenting. Reading it kinda makes me want to know more about who the sister is, and whether or not they are actually human, what type of setting this is, etc.
I just recently finshed reading Eragon, the one written by that 15 year old kid, and i think this dialogue surpasses what he had done, maybe a bit of name changing, i wasnt too keen on the vertigo name but i think thats just because im used to it being used as a fear of heights and such unless that is how you meant to write it.
Yes there were some mistakes, but of course you said yourself you did not edit it. Reading all of these fantasy books and especially Eragon that was written by a 15 year old makes me kinda wanna write too, but i know that i could come no where near to the detail needed and vigilance to write such a piece. Good luck and i like the start.
I look forward to reading more just as i look forward to reading the next chapter in a good book
-josh

this was more of a dicking around experiment. I honestly believe i'm more of an american lit guy than a fantasy writer, but i like to tease myself here and there. if i could do the screen play to a series that would be cool since i'm already given character designs and just work with dialogue. I have an odd time describing things :/

this piece was primarily just to work through dialogue and interactions between characters, but for some reason fantasy feels harder because you have to build a world which may involve more telling than showing.

oh well, i shoudl get working on that ball story.

Well yea its going to be alot of telling, look at Tolkein, he built that whole world, and you obviously have to describe it or no one is going to know wtf your talking about lol. Thats the thing about Fantasy, you have to describe it almost to the point that you might as well be making a movie out of it. lol.
But if you want like a suggestion as to doing your own, read Eragon, because its not so excessivly detailed as LOTR and Tigana are. Its more to the point mostly because a teenager wrote it. I think it might be more of a base for what you are trying to write, since its simpler.
you can also read it in less than 4 days

You better have like 9 entries up when i get back from Scotland! BAHHHH HAve a good birthday tomorrow. rbfloats looked fun. ciao.

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