Script Tease

Horribly abused as a puppy, returned after a year, and gone after three. I know more people who deserve that sort of cruelty. I hope it was good while it lasted. Christ rejected all three temptations and as a result, not even those who should be save are spared. If there is a God, the least he can do is have mercy.


It's all I have left.

I can't even look at the photos without being upset. I'm sorry that the only way I can cope is to forget entirely. I wish I was better than that. It's selfish. I can't think about it. I don't know how people can. I'm not that good. It's too debilitating.

We all live smoother lives thanks to the misery of others. I never thought about it, but everyone is guilty. I guess that's the primary problem with a lot of situations. A lack of thinking.

Currently Listening To: Setzer - FF7 "Fighting"
Current Topic of Interest: None at the MOMENT!

Ah, glory. Weekend but no salvation and I still managed to do nothing today! Three Mid terms, two papers and soul calibur 3 next week. There is no peace!

There's a few things I want to start working on. One is a video of me and whoever else wants to participate in it's skills in various activities, whether that be a game, boffering, a fanciful game of waterbottle or public embarrassment. Probably going to be something similar to the power rangers video but hopefully better orchestration, more team input and video editing. That'll probably be finished/have enough material around when the semester ends/new years.

And then two short stories which I want to start writing. Gonna pitch the ideas to clark and see what he thinks about them. One will be dark but hilarious - the other much darker. Hopefully I can have em done by the time the next semester starts.

Ah, and the next? I want to start making a new boffer weapon. Gotta figure out exactly what I'm up for making, but it's gotta be unique and easy to use. Goddamn sword is so long.

Those are the plans, now for some discussion about pet peeves and people that talk to me when they shouldn't.

Ever since high school, I realized people have a problem differentiating their right from their left, because more often than not some idiot manages to walk through MY SIDE of the goddamn door. It always manages to be that goddamn blond in the pink shirt or the popped collar idiot wearing sandals in 45 degree weather. I can always expect it too. That look as if I'm the bat shit crazy one. Hey asshole, I don't know if you realized it, but you're a goddamn human being. If we didn't use our brains, we would have been extinct years ago so kindly step aside. It's gotten to the point where I don't fucking care. I will walk into you if you are going through my goddamn door. No, I'm not opening it for you. You are not special. You are like every other goddamn person on this planet, so get your shit together and go through the right side.

Oh, and Clark is quite the lucky fellow. Him and I regularly google talk (voice chat) over the internet. I really recommend you get it as well and just call us up sometime using the program for the discussions you will overhear in my room are memorable. This girl comes in, wants me to sell her something and begs me to sell it for $3, when I explicitly tell her $4. I continually refuse to sell it. She then decides to make a little small talk (oh god I fucken hate small talk) and asks why I'm not out drinking with them and instead choose to sit in and play halo (No, it wasn't Halo, it was cs, she's just illiterate). I point out that drinking on a thursday night isn't my thing and that drinking excessively in general just isn't too hawt.

"Then what do you guys do?"

"Fencing. Tennis. gaming. Random antics"

"What's fencing?"

And that's when I knew it. I looked into her eyes, she looked into my eyes and there was contact. I was paralyzed. My heart raced. My eyes watered. I knew it! She was a freaking idiot. GOD. No, not even he could save me from this. Surrounded by morons. I wanted to slit my wrists and staple gun my testicles to the floor so I couldn't get to my phone and dial 911 at the last second. But let's move on, shall we?

Bargaining. She thinks she can bargain now.

"So what do you do if you don't drink? Marijuana? Coke?"

"Naw. None of it really does anything for me. Hell, even the vicodin didn't really help but make me throw up"

"Oh. I can get you stronger shit if you want. I could hook you up with stuff like heroine"

Oh. Okay. Thanks. Because you know, that's what I was getting at when I said NOTHING REALLY DOES ANY FUCKING GODDAMN THING FOR ME. AH. MY HEAD. MY FREAKIN EYES. MY EARS. It all ached. How much longer?

Now, everyone likes to think they are a psychologist (including myself incidentally). They like to psychoanalyze everything in their goddamn life from why someone lies to them about something to why "joe left me." First, liars are liars and almost everyone is one. Second, joe left you because he wasn't with you in the first place. He was there to goddamn get some sex and leave. You both were drunk and that's that. It wasn't a goddamn relationship you fool.

On to what she said.

"You guys are enjoying this aren't you? You're just doing it for the attention."

Oh no. You've found me out haven't you. You've unraveled the enigma that is my motivation for making you pay four dollars instead of the dollar short you're coming to me with. It's all for attention. It's all because I want to keep some overly tanned girl who uses too much make up for an average day in my room in hopes of possibly scoring. Yes. That's my secret. Thank you for explaining it to me, because I would have never have figured it out. I mean, it's not like I want to play cs or anything. It's all a game to make it look like I'm disinterested when in fact I really am.

Seriously. Don't try and psycho analyze me. I do shit. It's usually for a reason. Most of the time, you're going to be wrong in guessing the motivation behind that reason.

"Maybe he's emotional." NO.
"Maybe he's holding a gruge." NO
"Maybe he's an asshole." N...err. Maybe. I'll give you that one.

2nd Semester of high school on I adopted a no bullshit policy. That no bullshit policy evolved to what I am today. I try to be helpful to people who aren't idiots. You do something stupid though and i'll probably say something. If I do something stupid, please tell me. This recipricated analysis of stupidity is necessary for a working relationship. Let's do this.

Now let's step away from that tangent and go back to the idiot trying to psycho analyze me. Yeah, don't do it.

Lucky for clark, he managed to hear every sarcastic remark from my roommate and I. You could have been there for the show too. Ask him, it was amusing. I had fun, the roomie had fun, it was a pleasure. But this situation really does remind me why I really don't give a shit about a lot of the people i've met in college. There are so. Many. Stupid. People. I can't help but be amazed by the vast numbers they hold over, say, the people I actually enjoy to hang out with.

But yeah, seriously. I can't wait till I'm in grad school.

That's my rant. Remember, do something stupid and i'll make a kind hearted suggestion. If I do something stupid, you do the same. <3.

Currently Listening To: GG #Reload - Vortex Infinitum (Robo Ky)
Current Topic of Interest: Spieldberg Working On Videogames? Cool.

Yeah, just tell me if you start to get bored of the Guilty Gear music. I love the heavy metal guitar arrangements. A lot of the tunes have so much variance and are actually a blast to play cs to. The song above is actually the theme to Robo Ky who is a bad ass. I'll admit though, the song is more on the drum n' bass side.

Got my surgery today and took my vicaden at my doctors request. I really didn't want to take it and I was probably right. I close my eyes and lay down most of the afternoon because the novacaine just annoys me and I can't really focus on what I'm reading in my assignments. Later I get up and just want a little something to eat - ironically i'm not even that hungry. I go over to some bread pudding that my mother brought from the beanery and check it out...seems soft enough. Start eating little spoon-fulls because I don't really want to excercise my jaw (it's sore enough) and not 30 seconds later I can't stand without feeling like something is going to come up.

I begin to feel cold. It actually felt like I was in an ice bath along with naseau at one point. The cold chills were freaky, but I liked those a hell of a lot better than the naseau. When I'm sitting on a stool, I have to laugh (because for whatever reason it made me feel better). All I wanted was it to end, or someone to end it and then I hesitated and told myself to deal with it. Pain reminds me of life in general. Only you experience it. You experience your life, only you know what's going on internally, and it's nearly impossible to describe it to others - the experience is much more rewarding (even if it is pain). But regardless, I think my parents thought I was going koo-koo or something when i was just hunched over on the floor laughing myself silly in pain.

I think I'll deal with the natural pain of my mouth before I deal with the painkiller again. It hardly does its job anyway.

But the surgery was hilarious. I go in, talk to the doctors and simply blink and it's over. Really funny experience. Although, I sort of have this urge to go to work...money wouldn't hurt, I just don't think I could talk to customers that well.

Oh and this is what kills me. You're not a little kid anymore. You get sick? Deal with it. I used to love being sick in middle school. It's like a free day to do nothing. In high school - this started to change and in college I just can't stand not doing what I need to do because i'm ill or something. Bah to the limitations of the human body.

But yeah - time for cs since I don't think I have the mental capacity to do anything besides dish out some "boom: headshot" to citizens of the lower 48 states and possibly some frenchies from Montreal.

Currently Listening To: Isuka - Lady Fascination
Current Topic of Interest: Video Game Concert? I'M THERE!

I'm alright standing in the rain. It's when I'm in my room sitting still that I begin to get freakin' cold as hell! AHH!

No, but seriously, I make this post to bring up a very serious adventure, which is by no means cheap, but something I must do. If you look above, the current topic of interest is the Video Games Live concert, which is run by none other than Tommy T. who is an asshat, but man am I expecting a show. If anyone is interested in going, the tickets in the very first row are around 55 dollars. Looks like spending will be around that amount...unless I can get free VIP box seats from the hartford courant :)

Anyone interested in going? Or is this an excitement only for Andrew moment? Either way...i'm so seeing this show. 18th of November...mark your calendars folks. Also, if anyone wants to hear something in particular (final fantasy driven, heavy metal, electronic, synth) make a request and i'll do my best to fulfill it.

At any rate - I get my teeth taken out tomorrow in the afternoon. I'll probably up and hopping by the evening. Here's to dental bills.

I really need to get cracking on some of my library...also, holllooowweeeeen is coming. Caaabbbbbaaageee nighhhttt. There's gonna be some weirdo's out on the campus that eve'nin.

Currently Listening To: Zephyr - Sweet Avenue
Current Topic of Interest: Etna? Lord of the Prinnies?

You can imagine how excited I was when I heard that Disgaea 2 was coming out. Disgaea 2 is a game that I could compare to a fairy child a grandmother tells to her daughter's children. Etna seems to be in very good form along with her prinny underlings. The protagonist looks a little funky, but I'm really wondering how he and the other girl work into the Disgaea universe and what business they have with the original Disgaea gang.

Did I mention that this rain was cool for about...32 minutes and then got really lame afterwords? I'm a total airhead and left my umbrella in a classroom. I choose to remain wet than to be dissapointed after realizing that one of the 3,000 people on campus who don't have an umbrella took mines. Oh the tragedy!

This past weekend was the tournament. Won my first, lost the next two - hopefully a better showing this week. Hopefully? Who am I kidding. There will be a better showing. I want to become one of the best in new england - so here's to that useless goal :o

Bah this weather makes me want to do nothing. Anyway, just a reminder. If you wanted to pick up any titles recently, Toys R Us will be having a B2G1 free sale from the 23rd to about the 27th. I plan on picking up three titles of my own.

Oh well, time to be productive I guess. I have a quiz to take along with some studying, but i'll probably sit, unmotivated on my bum for most of the afternoon.

No song of the day, no article of interest. Do any of you even click on any of that? I thought so. On to more important matters.

I realize that arguing with someone who can't communicate their point is like arguing with an idiot. I might as well be arguing with an idiot. Both seem to have problems communicating with others. Both can't seem to understand anything tossed their way, either because they don't want to subversively or choose not to willingly. A lot of people out there are like that - the most pathetic are the ones that lie to themselves. I can forgive the ones who lie to others, because at least they aren't living the lies they vocalize. We all lie. It's a fact. What determines our character is when and why. But who cares as long as you know yourself.

I'm rude. I'm blunt. I'm crude. That's me. Do I really mean the rude things I say? No. It's just that sarcasm is such a useful tool. Your point hits home with sarcasm. Ah, what would I do without sarcasm. If I insult someone, it isn't necessarily because I hate them. Most of the time it's because I care. What a warm and fuzzy feeling you get from that statement.